How to Outsmart Your Writing Fears--and Win

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Hi, welcome to the Writing Momentum Podcast.

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I'm Gena Maselli, and this is my husband Christopher Maselli.

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And we're talking today about how to outsmart your writing fears and win.

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Yeah, we've talked about fears now for the past two podcasts, we've

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talked about six different fears.

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It's been really eye-opening.

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It's funny, the more we talk about these.

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Maybe funny is not the word it's scary, how many writing fears there are, right?

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How many things that as we've been talking about 'em, we're like,

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oh, but what about this also?

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What about that?

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And so we're gonna try and cover all these because I think these are fears

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that are very common to writers.

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We all face these.

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Gena and I have been writing for well over what, 50 combined years together easily.

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We're heading towards you've been writing almost 30 years, I've

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been writing over 20 years and so.

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Well over 50 then.

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We've got some decades under our belt here that were coming in.

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And we've met a lot of writers who have had fears that have

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had to work through things, and we've talked to them about those.

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And so we're trying to include all those things in these episodes.

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And yeah, as we do, it's eye-opening.

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It is because we've, as we've talked, as you said, we finished three and

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then we said we could do three more.

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And we did those three.

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And then we said okay, we're gonna finish with the final three.

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And we did that.

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And then as we were preparing for that, we said, but we never talked about

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this and we never talked about that.

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So we came up with three more that we could do.

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And some of them overlap, but they really are different.

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Each one of these is different and, but when they work together, they can

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really paralyze you as a writer, and that's what we want to help you get past.

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One.

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I really believe that when it comes to fear that it's the kind of thing

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that if you can shine a light on it, then you know that you're not alone.

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That's what we want you to know, is that if you are a writer who is struggling

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with getting your work done for some reason, we wanna shine that light on it

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to let you know that you are not alone.

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And how we have seen to work through these fears.

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And I'll be honest, some of these fears we are still working through.

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We're still working through them ourselves.

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And you know what?

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I don't think it's gonna be one of these things that we're

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ever gonna be like, yeah, never have to worry about that again.

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I don't think that's gonna be it.

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I just think that as we get more experience under our belt and we

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have more successes and failures that we come out of it and say, okay.

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Okay, we got writer's block.

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How are we gonna get through that?

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Oh, I'm feeling like this fear of vulnerability.

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Oh, I really hate writing this scene, or this blog, or this chapter

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because I gotta tackle on this.

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Yeah and we hope we're providing some good tactics.

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These are things that have worked for us over the years, and if you have a

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tactic that you've used for any of these fears, we'd love to hear about them.

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Because I think, there's always different ways that we can work through things.

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And so maybe you've got something specific that you're like, oh, that, that works for

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me or this works and I want to share that.

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Go ahead and email us and let us know or, post it on our

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website or wherever you want.

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We'd love to see it.

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We'd love to hear it.

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Definitely.

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Let's get started.

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We talked a little bit about this last time.

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We're gonna cover it in a little bit more depth now.

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Is or maybe from just a different angle.

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And that is the fear of criticism.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Now, this one you see with the fear of rejection.

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You see it a little bit with the fear of vulnerability.

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You see it of the, fearing about being too transparent.

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But Chris, you specifically had something you wanted to share with

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us about this fear of criticism.

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Yeah.

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I think a lot of times when we think of negative feedback, it can so overwhelm

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our minds that we think that this is something that happens all the time.

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And the truth is we usually get far more encouragement than we do criticism.

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We went to a high Performance Academy event once with Brendon

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Burchard, and he's a motivational speaker who's just really good.

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And there were 3000 people in the room.

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And he said, I'd like to see by a show of hands, how many of you have been just

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experienced criticism or rejection or harsh feedback at least once in your life.

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And of course, all the hands in the room went up 3000 hands.

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And he said, okay, keep your hands up if you've experienced it five times in your

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life that you can just really remember.

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And still a lot of hands were up.

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And then he said, okay, 10 times, 15 times, 20 times, and as the number

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went up, the hands started going down.

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He got to 25 times and it's hard to think of 25 times that you've been

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personally criticized or rejected.

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Then he got up to a hundred and then a thousand and suddenly there's

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hardly any hands left up in the room.

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We haven't really been rejected thousands of times, and yet that's

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what our mind wants us to think.

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So then he flipped the script and he said, okay, how many in this

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room would say that you've been encouraged at least once in your life?

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Someone has really encouraged you.

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Of course, a lot of hands went up.

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Five times, 10 times, 20 times.

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And you saw that the hands stayed up.

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People would say yes.

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I've had times where I've been speaking in front of a thousand people and they

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all gave me a hand clap at the end.

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They encouraged me.

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There are far more people that encourage us over our lives than

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discourage us, and yet we tend to focus just on the criticism.

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So we encourage you today to think about that for your own writing.

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How many times in your writing life have you been discouraged?

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Have people said they really don't like what you've written?

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Probably not a whole lot of times, but how many times have people encouraged

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you and told you that what you've written is really good, that it made them think

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that they'd like to see more, that they gave you some stars on Amazon, right?

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You've certainly received a lot more of those, and if you realize

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that there, that's the true balance that you've received far more

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encouragement than you have criticism.

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Man, that's a great way to conquer that fear.

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So what you're really telling us is that we need to gain some perspective.

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Gain perspective.

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Absolutely.

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We tend to always focus on the negative things they say when you hear something

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negative, it takes 10 times of hearing something positive to counteract that.

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And so that's all we're saying.

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And that again, last time I talked about how important it is to be a part of the

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writing community and the writing world.

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And by that what we're talking about is being a part of writers groups,

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online groups, in-person groups, going to writers' conferences, just

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being around other writers who truly understand these fears and have had

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to work through them themselves.

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And when you do that I really think you get in this collaborative environment

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and this encouraging environment that all of a sudden some of the pain of this,

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these fears or the sting of criticism or rejection, that kind of falls away

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when you realize how universal it is.

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How much we are all in that same boat.

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And there are some stories and there are some people that, that when

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they have shared their rejection.

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And these are talented people.

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These are talented writers who have received, they hit somebody on the wrong

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day and it was an editor or an agent or a, I don't even know who they all were,

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but they hit them on the wrong day and that person just unleashed on them.

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And I do know people who have had those kind of experiences and but

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then, those same people have mentors who are crazy talented too, who

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will come back and say, oh my gosh your writing meant so much to me.

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I see how much you've grown as a writer, so I just really encourage you to be a

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part of the writing community because it will help you gain that perspective.

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And we're gonna be talking about Writer Con that's coming up over

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Labor Day this year in Oklahoma City.

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But if you have not attended a writer's conference, or if you have, but you're

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looking for another really good one.

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We just encourage you to come and check that out.

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Chris and I will both be there.

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We'd love to meet you.

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If you are there, please come up to us and introduce yourselves.

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We'd love to talk to you and just see what you're writing and

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what your experience has been.

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But I really encourage you get a part of the writing

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community in the writing world.

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Yeah.

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And if you have, if you need someone online to go ahead and write

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with, we've got writing moments.

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We'd love to see you there.

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Go to writing moments.com and you can write with Gena and I

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and the group of people who show up to that every single week.

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Yeah, definitely.

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Now a second fear.

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That is pretty common is, and I think this is more of a subconscious fear, right?

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Yeah.

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This is not something that you think is gonna be a fear, but it does show up.

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And you know what it usually leads to is procrastination.

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So this is the fear of success.

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The fear of not being able to live up to someone's expectations or

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the expectations of what your book is going to be or to handle the

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pressure that success might bring to be able to run in the same circles

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as others who have come before you.

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That is a real fear that a lot of writers face.

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A lot of us face this at one time or another, but like I

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said, it's not really outward.

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It's not something that you can usually put a finger on and say, oh, this

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is something I'm facing right now.

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It usually just, it's the kind of thing that's there in the background.

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And one day you might find yourself procrastinating a lot, and if you

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really dig into it, you realize, man I'm scared of being successful with this.

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Like, how, what will life look like if I'm successful?

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Will I be able to handle that?

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Will I be worthy of the income, of the fame that might come with it, right?

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Of the attention that it might bring.

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Will I be comfortable going on the podcast and all that sort of thing?

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Everything that's part of that, will that be something I can handle?

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And that's a real common fear.

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I would say it's also a fear of if I do one book, is there another book in me?

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Yeah, can I do it again?

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A second?

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Can I do that again?

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That, so yes, that fear of success and all the marketing

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that is required now as an author.

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There is, we've talked a lot about it on this podcast and just a lot

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of what comes with the writing life of having to promote yourself.

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And that's part of that success journey that you have to traverse

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if you're gonna be in this.

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And the thing I would say is that you can take it a little bit at a time.

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You can step out.

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And the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

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And so I think it's one of those things that you can only really

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overcome it by, by just doing it.

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I teach a writing class to high schoolers.

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You've heard me talk about that if you've listened to this podcast, I teach

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a writing class to homeschoolers and high school students and each year, and

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I've done it now for a couple of years.

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Each year I give them some assignment that's pretty tough.

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Something that's maybe they have to do a few speeches.

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This last year it was a few speeches, maybe it's some kind of doing a

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timed essay test, that kind of thing.

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And what I tell them is, I say, this is not about perfection.

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I'm not looking for perfection here.

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I'm looking for you to gain the confidence of the experience because

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when you believe that you can do this, the rest is just technique.

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The rest is learning the technique.

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It's learning the structure.

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It's learning that.

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But when you can sit down and write a solid, essay test in a timed amount

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and you've got a good structure and you've got strong grammar and

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you're able to do that that's great.

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You've, that's something you've conquered.

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So it's the same kind of thing with this, you just have to conquer this,

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and it may be messy, but that's okay.

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You're conquering it, you're learning it.

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And the more you do it, the easier it will be.

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One of the best things you can do if you are feeling like, I dunno

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if I can live up to this, is just start talking to other writers who

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have gone through the same thing.

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And what you'll find is that everyone is just as clueless as you are.

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I can't tell you how many writers' conferences we go to and you'll find

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so many authors saying, I'm just, I'm not sure how I'm gonna sell my book.

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I don't know what to do in today's world.

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I don't know how I'm going to keep my website updated or finish those blogs.

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These are all just very common things and you tend to think that

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everyone else has it figured out because you see the end product.

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And what you realize as you begin to talk to other writers is that, you

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know what, we're all in the same place.

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And you'll find other writers who are in that exact same place that you are.

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And then that fear of success will tend to go away.

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Okay, our last one we're gonna talk about today is time management.

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The fear of not having enough time to write or finish a project

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or the fear of procrastination.

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The fear that you're always putting it off, and boy, I think this is

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one that I really struggle with.

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Every author faces this.

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This is, there is never enough time, especially if you're a creative

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person, because you are almost always wanting to go onto that next project.

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You've, you're writing today's book and you're already thinking about

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the next book, maybe the next couple.

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You're writing today's book and you're thinking about how you're gonna market it.

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You're thinking about just how you're gonna take care of your family and

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all the things, all the stuff that you've got to do that's very common.

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The best way to outsmart this writing fear is simply to use some of the

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techniques that we've talked about before.

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Use the Pomodoro technique.

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Make yourself sit down just for 45 minutes or 25 minutes and do

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your writing, and then take a break and then just do it again.

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Every single day do a little bit.

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This is not about running a sprint today and finishing your book.

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This is about running a marathon and it may take you months to

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get it done, but you know what?

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If you stick with it, you'll get it done, okay.

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This is not about saying, oh, I'm gonna do a little bit and

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then maybe I'll get back to it.

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No.

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It's doing a little bit every day.

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A little bit every day.

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And that time management is something that you can absolutely outsmart.

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Stay focused, search for our podcasts that we've done in the past about beating

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distraction, about the Pomodoro technique, about just being smart over time.

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Because what's amazing is that if you write just, let's say a thousand

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words a day, or 750 words a day.

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That's about three pages, right?

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Over a month, you will have nearly 25 to 30,000 words.

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Within two months you'll have definitely completed your book, right?

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Just by doing a little bit every day.

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And I do think that this is when we've talked about writing moments,

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but being a part of writing moments or there are other groups out there

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that do that where they do co-writing.

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But being a part of some kind of group where there's accountability

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that you are expected, and even if that expectation is just you putting

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it on yourself, but you're expected to show up and do that on a regular

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basis, it makes a big difference.

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It makes a big difference.

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So today we talked about criticism, about success and about time management.

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You can beat all those fears just by putting some good tactics into use by

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knowing that you are not in this alone.

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Please join us for writing moments.

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Join us at Writer Con, find writers in your area who can write with

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you or people online, and you'll find, hey, I can do this thing.

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All right, next week we're gonna talk about three more fears.

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This is the final three, at least for now that we're planning to talk about.

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We'd love to have you join us between now and then.

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Please rate, review, subscribe, and share these podcasts.

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These podcasts on fears.

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Share these with other writers that you know can benefit from

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this because it helps them know that they're not alone too.

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Until next time, remember that together.

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We have writing momentum.