The Dark Side of Writing: 3 Fears That Haunt Every Writer

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Hello and welcome to the Writing Momentum Podcast.

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I'm Christopher Maselli, and I'm here with my wife Gena.

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Hi there.

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Hey, how you doing Gena?

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I'm doing well.

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I'm doing well.

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Are you scared at all?

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We're talking about these tough subjects.

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This is, we're calling it like the dark side of writing.

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And I think that, it's something we need to cover.

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It's something we need to talk about because it, I do not know a writer who

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doesn't struggle with at least one or two fears related to their writing.

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And probably more than that.

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In fact, when we were putting this together, we came up with 10 different

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fears that many of us face as writers.

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You may not face them all at once, hopefully, certainly

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not all at the same time.

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But certainly over your writing career, you will run into these

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kinds of fears, time and again.

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And as you do, you want to know, first of all, you need

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to know that, this is common.

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You've chosen to be a writer and author, and in doing so, there are some challenges

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that you will face along the way.

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And we're here to tell you, you were not alone, that this is very

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common and that these are the kind of fears that you can overcome.

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And second, that's the second thing is that, hey, you can overcome all of these.

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None of these have to keep you stuck.

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And if you feel stuck by one of them, then please just know

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again, you're not in it alone.

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And hopefully we can give you some tidbits of advice that could

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help you take that next step.

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And I think that's the thing with fear is I think fear really grows and can really

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get a choke hold on any of us when it's left in the dark, when it's left unspoken.

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When you feel like you're the only one who feels this way.

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When you feel that you are the oddball.

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And you, there's just something wrong with you because if you were more

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secure or stronger or fill in the blank then somehow it wouldn't affect you.

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And that's just not true.

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And that's, I think of it like the darkness that you shine the light on it.

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You shine the light on it, it loses its power.

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And that's what we wanna do today.

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We wanna shine the light on some of these things.

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Hopefully you will listen to some of these, cuz this is actually gonna be a

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three part series we're gonna do on the fears, the common fears that writers face.

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So please come back and my hope is that you would look at those and as

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we're talking you might say, yeah, that's something I've dealt with.

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And Wow, I'm not alone.

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I'm not weird.

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I'm not, there's nothing wrong with me.

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And that by doing that, maybe it'll give you that strength to, to keep going.

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That's right.

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And you are not, again, you are not alone.

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Don't feel isolated if you start to feel isolated.

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And that's a good idea that maybe you're being subject to one of these fears

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and that hey, it's time to overcome it.

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Yep.

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So let's look at the first one.

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The first one we have talked about before.

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In fact, we talked about this fear.

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This was episode two of the Writing Momentum podcast, which is writer's block.

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So many authors have this fear of being unable to write or create

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anything meaningful or good enough, and they get trapped in that.

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That feeling of, oh, I can't do this.

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And they sit down, they think they wanna write and just like nothing comes out.

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And it, I used to say there's no such thing as writer's block because the idea

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being, not that it doesn't really exist, cuz certainly we can all feel stuck,

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but that you can always break out of it.

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And I still believe that you can always break out of writer's block

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and a lot of times what it takes is just sitting down and writing.

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Even when you don't feel like it, even if the thing you're trying to

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write doesn't come out, that's okay.

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There have been times when I've been writing like a novel for young

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adults and I know something needs to happen in the next chapter and I'm

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stuck and I can't get any further.

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And then what I'll do is I'll just start journaling for my day and I'll just

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start writing, or I'll start writing a short story about something else.

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Or I might even write a marketing piece for a website, right?

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Something that's just different.

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And in doing that, it starts getting that muscle loosening up and it starts breaking

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that fear off and you start realizing, hey, I can do this, and eventually

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that feeling of inspiration comes back.

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But, don't wait for the inspiration.

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Go ahead and put in the perspiration and get writing to break that writer's block.

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Yes.

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I would also add to that, that, Chris and I talk a lot about how writing does

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not have to be a solitary endeavor.

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That it's something you can do with people.

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Now, clearly what we're not saying that you try to collaborate on a project

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you may or may not choose to do that.

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That's not what we're talking about.

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But writing in itself, the writing life is, it's got its own

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unique what it ebbs and flows.

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It's got its unique things to it.

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The unique emotions that you're feeling, the unique projects that you're

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dealing with, the unique challenges that you're having to overcome.

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And if you've got a solid group of people who understand that, that's

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just gonna be a beautiful thing to help you break through these, and

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I will honestly be pointing back to that throughout this entire series.

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Find yourself some writers that can help you with this.

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If you don't know, we've got Writing Moments.

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We meet once a week on Wednesday mornings.

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You can go to writingmoments.com to find out more about that, but we meet

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together, we do co-writing and we start with a little bit of teaching.

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But I think one of the things that has really come out of that group

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is there is a comradery that is being built there with the writers.

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Where we are celebrating each other's successes and people are feeling that

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they can come and bring questions to the group to say what about this?

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But even beyond that, there are writers groups in your local

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areas that you can start with.

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You may start it yourself.

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You may, there may be one that's already there, but there may be one

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that you just start with yourself with just two or three friends in the area.

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You sit at a coffee shop and you talk about different things, and I think

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sometimes also when you're talking about writer's block, just by brainstorming.

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Now, I will tell you, you start to brainstorm with a, you've got something

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going on, some project that you're working with, and you start to brainstorm.

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You may not agree with the ideas that the other people are sharing

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with you, but that's not the point.

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The point is, like Chris said, you get those juices flowing.

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Yeah and that's the whole thing with meeting together, and that's the reason

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that you'd want to meet in a writer's group is because just that act of getting

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up and sitting in a different place or sitting at your computer, but turning

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on the webcam and writing together, that tends to break writer's block because

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you're in that you have that positive peer pressure that gets you writing.

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All right.

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The next one is what?

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Gena.

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Oh, this is a big one.

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This is the big one, guys.

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Rejection.

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I do not know that you can, the only way you can get away from

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rejection in the writing world is if nobody ever sees what you write.

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Yeah, rejection can come when you submit your article to

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an editor or an agent, right?

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It can come when you get negative feedback, right?

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If you're got your book on Amazon and all of a sudden someone

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gives you a one star, right?

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It can come just from not being published, from feeling like, oh, I don't have

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anything that's actually out there.

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That rejection, it can often stop writers in their path of writing.

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It can make them suddenly just feel like, Hey, what I've got just isn't good enough.

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It's very easy to go down that road.

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This is probably, other than a writer's block, one of the most common types of

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fear that writers face, and you know what the truth is, it's just part of the job.

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Rejection is part of it.

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You have to know it is going to happen, and you have to ask yourself if you

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can develop a skin that's thick enough to make it through that rejection.

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Because if you can take a manuscript that gets rejected and just say, you know what?

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I'm gonna send it out again.

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I got rejected.

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That publisher didn't like it, but I'm gonna send it out again.

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Then you can be one of those stories, like you've heard about some of the

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very popular books that are out today that were rejected 20, 30, 40 times.

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Or over a hundred.

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Or over a hundred until someone finally got it.

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Right?

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And then they weren't rejected, they were accepted.

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And so sometimes that's just the way it is.

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And I think it's good to go into the writing life knowing

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that can just be part of it.

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Because then you'll know when you get rejected that, oh,

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hey, I got a rejection down.

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That's one step closer to getting accepted.

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Yes I think you're right.

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I think.

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Changing, shifting your focus a little bit, shifting your mindset with that

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and thinking, I'm gonna send this out.

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I'm sending it out for the first time, or I'm sending it out for the 10th time.

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Or whatever.

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I'm gonna send it out.

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I believe it's really good.

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I've gotten feedback from other people that it's really good, but I know

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that I'm gonna send this out maybe 10, 20, 30 times to different places, and

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most of them are not gonna want it.

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That's just the truth of it.

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Most of the people are not gonna want it.

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Now here's the thing that you need to keep in mind though when you're

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thinking about that, is that each of these publishing houses, magazines,

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easings, whatever, that you're writing for, they all have unique voices.

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They have unique audiences, they have unique readership and just who, where

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they're going, what they're trying to do, where they're focus is in the future.

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There's so many elements that you are not privy to.

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Now, some of that you can do your own research on.

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We have talked before, you need to do your due diligence before you submit someplace.

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Don't submit something academic to Harlequin Romance.

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Don't do this wild, just throw everything at the wall and

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hopefully somebody takes something.

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If you're writing science fiction, submit to the places that accept science fiction.

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So you wanna do your due diligence to know where you're submitting it.

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But beyond that, recognize that writing is an art form, and there are going to be

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people that are going to understand what you're trying to say, and there are gonna

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be people that either don't understand it or it's just not their cup of tea.

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And that's okay.

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Yeah, and that's where like a lot of the Amazon reviews and

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that sort of thing come in.

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It's better just not to read them, honestly.

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They don't do much for your ego and they can certainly just make you feel

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horrible if people don't like it.

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And the truth is, all you have to do is look, think of your favorite movie and

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look up the Rotten Tomato scores for it.

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And generally you're gonna find that there are a bunch of people both on the critic

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side and on the consumer side that just don't jive with that particular movie.

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And that doesn't mean that it's a bad movie, it just means that to

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those people, they didn't connect.

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And everyone, of course, has a voice today.

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So it can be difficult because everyone's gonna say something.

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But don't let that make you feel rejected.

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And the other thing I would just add with that is just to keep going.

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The more you submit, honestly, the more rejection you receive on that.

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I think the thicker your skin gets for that, don't you think?

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That's right?

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Yeah, absolutely.

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And the last fear I think we should talk about today is the fear of failure.

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A lot of us can run into this fear of, oh man, if I.

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It's almost, I think a subconscious fear where we think if we finish the

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book and it doesn't do well, or people don't like it or doesn't get the

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message across, that will have failed.

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And so it's very easy to then not finish the book, right?

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We just keep finding things that we need to edit in it, keep finding

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things we need to change, and instead.

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You know what?

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Just say it's good enough.

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I know it's good enough at this point, I'm gonna put it out there.

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And you know what?

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If you get your message out there, you're not failing.

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Now, you may not connect with as many people as you wanted.

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It may not work out exactly the way you wanted, but that's where

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you just get up and start again.

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You say, okay, that one's done.

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I'm going on to the next one.

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And I think Gena and I can both attest to the fact that over, we've been

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doing this collectively for dozens and dozens of years, decades, and

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we have had many things that we have failed on, and we've had many things

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that we've had success on, and you just have to know that for everything

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you fail with, you're gonna have probably a whole handful of successes.

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It's just that sometimes those failures scream louder

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than the success does, right?

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You get that failure and it can stop you in your tracks.

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You get a success and you're kinda like, okay, good.

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I'm going to the next thing and not even realize that you haven't

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taken time to celebrate it.

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And yet we celebrate the failures, in a negative way.

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And that's exactly the opposite.

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We should do it the opposite way around.

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We should be celebrating our successes and just ignoring the

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failures and going to the next thing.

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And here's, I think, something that I have noticed along the way is that

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you get into this, Chris has said that we've been in this a long time.

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The things that you will look back on as the writer, that you

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will say, man, I am proud of that.

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Are not necessarily the things that sold the most or had the most readership.

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For sure.

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There are going to be some of those projects that you're just going to love.

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And you're going to know that they're really good.

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Yeah.

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And there's heart in them and they're just really powerful.

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And so it's not gonna be the thing that necessarily is, it's not, when

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that happens, it's not gonna matter.

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How much other people are necessarily loving it, it's

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gonna be meaningful for you.

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Yeah, that's exactly right.

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And that's what's important.

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A lot of times when you talk to authors you'll say, wow, you've got so many

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books out, which one's your favorite?

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Often, their favorite is one that's rather obscure because it meant

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the most to them, not because they had the most commercial success.

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And just know that's the way it is sometimes.

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And again, celebrate the successes, not the failures.

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And keep going.

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With all of these, you just keep going.

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You keep writing.

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If you're a writer, then you know that you've got something

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in you and you've got a write.

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So just keep going.

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Exactly.

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Don't stop.

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Hey, those are three fears that haunt every writer.

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We're gonna look at three more next week and three or four more the week after

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that until we cover every one of them.

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We'd love to hear what's one maybe that you struggled with or

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that we haven't thought of and maybe we can share some of those.

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We won't share your name but maybe we can share some of those and help other people.

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And if you enjoyed this podcast, hey, will you rate it and review it

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and subscribe to it and share it?

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Because by doing those things, it helps other people find this podcast.

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It helps them overcome these fears too.

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Yes.

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All right.

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Remember, you are not in this alone because together what Gena?

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We have writing momentum.