Episode 118
Redefining Perfectionism
In this episode of the Writing Momentum Podcast, hosts Christopher and Gena Maselli delve into the topic of perfectionism among writers. They share personal anecdotes and struggles with perfectionism, emphasizing the importance of pushing through the writing process despite the desire for everything to be perfect. The episode covers various aspects of perfectionism, such as the challenges in starting or finishing a project, the pitfalls of waiting for 'perfect' conditions, and practical tips for moving forward. They discuss tactics like time blocking, setting realistic writing goals, and allowing for flexibility in planning and execution. The goal of the episode is to help writers redefine perfectionism from getting it 'right' to getting it 'done' and to encourage them to maintain momentum in their writing projects by providing strategies to overcome perfectionism.
- 00:00 Welcome to the Writing Momentum Podcast!
- 00:13 Tackling Perfectionism: Personal Struggles and Insights
- 02:24 Types of Perfectionism and Strategies for Authors
- 06:32 Navigating Perfectionism in the Writing Process
- 10:26 Time Management and Overcoming Procrastination
- 12:24 Plotting vs. Pantsing: Finding Your Writing Direction
- 15:05 Redefining Perfectionism for Success
- 16:21 Join Our Writing Community and Wrap-Up
LINKS:
- Liz Wilcox's Email Marketing Membership at http://wmdeal.com/liz
- Get your FREE Move the Needle goal-setting for authors ebook at https://www.writingmomentum.com
- Write with us! Join Chris, Gena, and Rene each Wednesday at noon Central and let's get our writing DONE! https://www.writingmoments.com
Transcript
How do you deal with perfectionism as a writer?
Speaker:We can help with that.
Speaker:Hello and welcome to the Writing Momentum Podcast.
Speaker:I'm Christopher Maselli.
Speaker:I'm here with
Speaker:Gena Maselli, his wife.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Hey, today we are talking about perfectionism, which is appropriate
Speaker:because we just did this intro 26 times.
Speaker:We did it several times and we realized about halfway through that, yes,
Speaker:we're talking about perfectionism, but our intro isn't perfect.
Speaker:So we start again.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Do you ever deal with perfectionism as an author, as a writer?
Speaker:Yes, I deal with perfectionism as a writer.
Speaker:In fact, I was thinking about this and I was thinking about when I have
Speaker:dealt with perfectionism as a writer.
Speaker:And I think there have been times when I have worked on projects where
Speaker:I have just gotten stuck because I wasn't satisfied with where it was.
Speaker:And you have told me and have taught me as well as our writing
Speaker:partner, Rene Gutteridge.
Speaker:I say writing partner.
Speaker:She's a collaborator with us.
Speaker:She, you have both told me you just got to keep going.
Speaker:That's been the mantra is just keep going.
Speaker:Just keep writing.
Speaker:And I found that you're right, that when I just keep going, I will often
Speaker:all of a sudden have this breakthrough moment where all of a sudden I
Speaker:see where the threads have been.
Speaker:That the threads that haven't come together.
Speaker:I see how I can bring them together and it all comes together so
Speaker:that's good
Speaker:How about you?
Speaker:No, not me.
Speaker:I've never
Speaker:You've never dealt with perfectionism?
Speaker:Yeah,
Speaker:Considering I live with you.
Speaker:I know that's not true
Speaker:Yeah, I deal with perfectionism and then I try to make sure all of my ducks are
Speaker:in a row before I move to the next thing.
Speaker:So I won't start on project B until A is completely finished.
Speaker:And sometimes you have to work on things in tandem.
Speaker:And and I am waiting for that perfect moment before I'm like, okay, now
Speaker:I can get ready with the next one.
Speaker:And that's perfectionism too.
Speaker:It is.
Speaker:And it can be, it can be stifling or stalling because as soon as
Speaker:you get all those decks in a row.
Speaker:More ducks come and so you're constantly trying to get the ducks in a row
Speaker:and constantly get them and so then you can it can be where you never
Speaker:actually get to that project that you're wanting to work on or that
Speaker:next project that you need to work on.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So today we're going to talk about some of the different types of perfectionism
Speaker:that we, you may encounter as an author and a writer and maybe some strategies
Speaker:of how to work through those things.
Speaker:So one of the first ways that you might find yourself dealing with
Speaker:perfectionism is just in beginning or ending the work that you're
Speaker:working on your work in progress.
Speaker:When perfectionism gets a hold of you, you might find it hard to even
Speaker:start writing in the first place.
Speaker:Or you may find it hard to actually finish that book.
Speaker:And it's often because we're trying to make everything perfect.
Speaker:Perfect, right?
Speaker:We're trying to make it on that first draft through make everything
Speaker:perfect before we move on and doing that is Way to almost ensure
Speaker:that you won't finish your book
Speaker:I think that is and I think that's what Chris and I are wanting it
Speaker:to help you do is to identify that what you're really dealing with here
Speaker:in these moments is perfectionism.
Speaker:That when you are thinking about a project that you're wanting to start,
Speaker:maybe a book, or maybe you're thinking about starting that blog that you need
Speaker:to keep up regularly and you start thinking about it in terms of I don't
Speaker:know if my idea is original enough.
Speaker:I don't know if I can figure out how it's going to end or
Speaker:how I'm going to wrap it up.
Speaker:Those kind of thoughts, if you find yourself ruminating on that I really
Speaker:want to do this, but I just don't know.
Speaker:It's not quite there yet.
Speaker:My idea isn't quite there.
Speaker:If you're stuck at that level or at that place, you're probably dealing
Speaker:with this perfectionism of it has to be perfect before I even start.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:The questions that perfectionism brings up aren't necessarily
Speaker:wrong questions to have, right?
Speaker:We all question at times, okay, what should happen next in my story?
Speaker:What should happen at the end of this chapter?
Speaker:Those are good questions to have.
Speaker:That's not perfectionism.
Speaker:Perfectionism is saying, I'm going to think about this over and over
Speaker:again and not let go and not move forward because it's not perfect.
Speaker:Instead, I encourage you just to go ahead and plow through it.
Speaker:Definitely.
Speaker:And I, we were talking before we turned the camera on, we were talking
Speaker:about a moment that I've recently had where I was stuck in a project
Speaker:and I was trying to pull it together and I could just tell it was lagging.
Speaker:Like it wasn't just, it just wasn't coming together.
Speaker:And I listened to what Chris and Rene said and I just kept working
Speaker:on it and just kept working on it.
Speaker:And all of a sudden I, after I've worked on it for quite a while and
Speaker:not worked on, we'll also get to the reworking the same thing over and over.
Speaker:That's not what I'm talking about, but I just continued with the project.
Speaker:And as I've continued, I've realized all of a sudden I had that spark
Speaker:and it just, I was like, Oh, I know it's, I know what's missing here.
Speaker:And I had to go back.
Speaker:And, but it's been an easy fix once I was able to do it, but I would not have
Speaker:gotten to the fix if I had not continued to press through and continue to write.
Speaker:And so that's just an important part of not letting the
Speaker:perfectionism get the best of you.
Speaker:The inspiration came as you worked through the writing process, not
Speaker:before the writing process began.
Speaker:And that's what often happens is we wait for the inspiration to hit and then
Speaker:before we move forward with our writing.
Speaker:And that's, we need to be careful about doing that.
Speaker:Instead, go ahead and, even if it's not perfect, even if it's not that golden
Speaker:thread that you want to have happen in your plot, Just move ahead with
Speaker:it and see maybe if it works, right?
Speaker:Try some different things.
Speaker:Does that mean you're going to have pages that you don't use in your final project?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:But do you know what happens when you finish with your first draft?
Speaker:You're always going to have pages you don't use.
Speaker:You're always going to have material you don't use.
Speaker:That doesn't mean it goes to waste.
Speaker:It just means that it was something you had to work through
Speaker:and it was an exercise for you.
Speaker:So count it a blessing and instead just keep moving forward.
Speaker:So what does perfectionism look like in the middle of a project?
Speaker:We've shared what I just went through working through it,
Speaker:but what also can happen?
Speaker:Often what happens is it just stops you in your tracks.
Speaker:You think, Oh, I don't know what needs to happen next.
Speaker:Or I don't know how to make this sentence perfect.
Speaker:You can get perfectionists and Perfectionism can stop you on
Speaker:a per sentence level, right?
Speaker:It can stop you just as you're writing a sentence, or a paragraph,
Speaker:or a scene, or a chapter.
Speaker:It can stop you anywhere.
Speaker:And it, I feel like it sounds like such an easy solution of just keep writing.
Speaker:Just write through.
Speaker:But that really is the answer.
Speaker:The answer is to just keep going.
Speaker:Not stop, take a deep breath, Think about it a while.
Speaker:I encourage you just to keep moving.
Speaker:You can think about it.
Speaker:I'm not saying don't think about it, but I'm saying don't let it
Speaker:stop you from what you're doing.
Speaker:Don't let your writing session go to waste.
Speaker:Keep working and often the inspiration will come as you work.
Speaker:And I even know of writers, and I've done this myself, that when I come to a
Speaker:point and I think Maybe I need a metaphor here, or I need a simile here, or I need
Speaker:to describe this a little bit more, or I need to do a little bit of research so I
Speaker:can really make this scene pop, or I can really make this article come together.
Speaker:When I've been in those moments, I will sometimes put brackets on my page
Speaker:and I will type in brackets of what I in within the brackets, I'll put what
Speaker:I need to do need metaphor or find metaphor or research this or whatever.
Speaker:And I'll do that.
Speaker:And then I'll just keep going.
Speaker:Knowing that when I come back at a later date, Two things are happening.
Speaker:One, when I come back at a later date, I have it I'm able, usually
Speaker:when I come to it, I've got more time.
Speaker:I'm not in this writing flow.
Speaker:I've got more time to stop and think about it or to research it.
Speaker:But the other thing that happens, I have found personally, is that
Speaker:my mind on a subconscious level is working on that already.
Speaker:So when I come back to it again, it's not this huge stumbling block.
Speaker:All of a sudden, it's a, Oh yeah, and something will come to me.
Speaker:That metaphor will come to me.
Speaker:That just that line that is so much better than what I had originally come up with,
Speaker:or maybe something else will happen.
Speaker:That all of a sudden it's like the magic has happened there.
Speaker:Not because I let it stop me, but because my subconscious was
Speaker:already working on that problem.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:What you just said, it was really good.
Speaker:And I don't want to let that slip by.
Speaker:When you're writing your manuscript, and you're typing, and you're in a
Speaker:flow, if you come to a point that you feel like you need to stop, instead
Speaker:of stopping, put bracket, and then type what you want to think about,
Speaker:put bracket again, and then continue.
Speaker:What you can do then later is you can search your manuscript
Speaker:for the bracket symbol.
Speaker:And when you do, you'll find that note to yourself.
Speaker:The other thing you can do is if you want to, you can highlight it in yellow.
Speaker:That way your eyes will quickly see it when you're scrolling
Speaker:through your manuscript.
Speaker:Or you can even use the comment feature.
Speaker:By doing any one of those three things, you'll be able to find
Speaker:those pain points in your manuscript quickly and address them at a later
Speaker:date without stopping your flow.
Speaker:Definitely.
Speaker:I love that you call those pain points because I think that's really what it is.
Speaker:It's that point where you know, this isn't quite what I want it to be.
Speaker:I have an idea, so I'm going to make a note to myself.
Speaker:I'm going to remind myself that this was not quite right.
Speaker:and what I feel or I think is missing here.
Speaker:And then moving on and then coming back to it.
Speaker:That's, I love that.
Speaker:Because it is a pain point, , it's very painful.
Speaker:Another place that I often get stopped is I try to make sure everything
Speaker:else on my to-do list is done.
Speaker:Which is what he said.
Speaker:Before I continue that, and I said that at the beginning, and the reason I do
Speaker:that is because I like to make sure all my boxes are checked sometimes.
Speaker:All your boxes can't be checked if you want to actually make
Speaker:progress on your writing.
Speaker:So don't let your to do list hang over your head.
Speaker:Go ahead and just make your writing one of the items on your to do list.
Speaker:But not just a to do list item, make it an appointment in your calendar.
Speaker:And when you do that, you will have the time that you have to sit down, do
Speaker:your writing and you'll get it done.
Speaker:Yeah, that's really, it's called time blocking, right?
Speaker:You are blocking out a time and there's something that happens when you put
Speaker:some, when you put an appointment on your calendar that Not only
Speaker:are you able to say, I'm not going to let anything else be in there
Speaker:because I've designated that time.
Speaker:But I think there's something mental that happens for me personally that I
Speaker:feel like I'm giving myself permission.
Speaker:We have done that in a few different ways.
Speaker:Even rest time.
Speaker:We do that.
Speaker:We block out time that we're like, this is going to be, we're not going to
Speaker:work because Chris and I can get caught up in feeling like we should work.
Speaker:If you find yourself feeling like you should be doing something,
Speaker:or whatever that comes with that.
Speaker:Giving yourself that time block, Oh I want to be writing, but I've got to
Speaker:be working on this project for work, or I've got to be working on this
Speaker:project for our family or whatever.
Speaker:Somehow by putting it in your calendar and saying, no, for this
Speaker:hour, for this 30 minutes, even I'm going to just allow myself to
Speaker:write because that's my appointment.
Speaker:Somehow it gives you permission.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:It on a, again, subconscious level that it gives us permission to
Speaker:say, no, I'm doing the right thing because that's what this time is for.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:And another tool that we often use to combat perfectionism is to have
Speaker:a little bit of direction of where we're going when we're writing.
Speaker:Some people like to write without any direction at all and that's fine, but
Speaker:then you have to understand you're going to get stuck a little more, right?
Speaker:So what I like to do is I like to plot out Point by point, beat by
Speaker:beat, exactly what I'm gonna do.
Speaker:I'll write down my plot points and then I'll follow those when I write.
Speaker:Even when I write short stories, I wrote a short story this week, a mystery.
Speaker:And as I was writing it, or really before I wrote it, I wrote down
Speaker:every single beat of the mystery.
Speaker:So my outline for a, I think it was a three page short story,
Speaker:was about a page and a half.
Speaker:Which, I know, that's a little much for a lot of people, but to me, then after
Speaker:that plot was finished, the writing, I finished it in 45 minutes, right?
Speaker:I finished the whole story because I had plotted it out.
Speaker:Now, you don't have to do it to that detail if that's not the way you work.
Speaker:But you do need to know, when you're writing a chapter or a scene, Where you're
Speaker:going with that scene, if you know that, then you won't find yourself getting
Speaker:stuck so much because you'll have already thought through the pain point, right?
Speaker:And I'm going to say that is great for you because you are a very
Speaker:detailed plotter and I love it.
Speaker:But if you are a more intuitive writer and you're more of a pantser, then I
Speaker:think it's still good for you to know the direction you're going to go.
Speaker:But then again, just give yourself the freedom to know
Speaker:that this is where I'm going.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:My, my character or my story or my whatever needs to go end here, or these
Speaker:are the points that I need to include.
Speaker:And then start giving yourself the permission to move through it and
Speaker:you're going to intuitively feel that.
Speaker:And I say that because I am, I'm half.
Speaker:I do a little bit, I do plotting.
Speaker:I also do some pantsing.
Speaker:I'm intuitive enough that sometimes I will start with an outline, but I do
Speaker:give myself permission to let myself feel my way through it because sometimes it
Speaker:starts going in a different direction.
Speaker:What I then just do is even if I've done an outline and my outlines are
Speaker:not as detailed as what yours are But I will go back and just do a check mark
Speaker:on my outline to make sure I've hit all of the product at all The points
Speaker:I do this for magazine articles or for web articles where I will Outline
Speaker:them and then go back at the end and just check to make sure I've hit
Speaker:all the points Even if what my final product is not exactly like my outline.
Speaker:And so it works for both.
Speaker:You just, what Chris's point is, what my point would be is that you have to
Speaker:have a direction of where you're going.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:So one last point we want to make, and that is if you're a
Speaker:perfectionist and you're going to be a perfectionist as you're writing.
Speaker:Yeah, both of us are, but if you're a perfectionist, here's
Speaker:one of the the biggest, best mindset changes you can make.
Speaker:Redefine what perfectionism is to you.
Speaker:Perfectionism is not getting it right, it's getting it done.
Speaker:If you go into your project not saying, I have to get it right, but
Speaker:just that I have to get it done, you can achieve that point of perfection.
Speaker:If you say, my goal today is to write for 45 minutes, that's
Speaker:something you can achieve.
Speaker:You may not be able to achieve getting it all perfect, all right, but if
Speaker:your goal is to write for 45 minutes, you could do that, and that can be
Speaker:a perfect writing session for you.
Speaker:Or maybe your goal is a thousand words, or just moving forward,
Speaker:getting the next scene done.
Speaker:You can achieve that, and you'll find success there.
Speaker:So think about what is perfectionism to you when you sit down to
Speaker:write, and don't make it, getting it right, make getting it done.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:That's really good.
Speaker:That's good.
Speaker:It's really good.
Speaker:Gena, you want to close this out?
Speaker:We thank you so much for joining us here at the Writing Momentum podcast.
Speaker:Again, this is Chris Maselli.
Speaker:I'm Gena Maselli.
Speaker:We're so glad you were here.
Speaker:We don't take it for granted that you spent some time with us today.
Speaker:And whether you're watching us on YouTube or whether you're listening
Speaker:to us on a podcast app, We're just really thankful, and we're just,
Speaker:what did you want to say there?
Speaker:I was just going to say, we'd love to write with you too.
Speaker:If you want to have some friends to write with, we have a writing group
Speaker:that happens every Wednesday at noon central, and you can find out
Speaker:more about that at writingmomentum.
Speaker:com.
Speaker:Come and write with us, we have a good group of people, and we love just
Speaker:writing together for an hour every Wednesday on our individual projects,
Speaker:but it helps keep ourselves accountable.
Speaker:Yeah, it does.
Speaker:And it comes with about 10 to 15 minutes of training on writing from
Speaker:either Chris, me or Rene Gutteridge.
Speaker:And so hopefully those little nuggets can help just propel you forward.
Speaker:And then we co write together for 45 minutes and we have had several
Speaker:people now finish their books by co writing and by just keeping it in
Speaker:front of them, keeping their vision and their goal in front of them.
Speaker:It's really a powerful thing.
Speaker:So please come join us.
Speaker:And if you would take the time to review this podcast or to rate it, ring
Speaker:that bell too, to find out when new Podcasts are drop we drop them every
Speaker:week and also subscribe to this podcast.
Speaker:We'd love to Be able to connect with you.
Speaker:And if you have questions, please reach out to us at writingmomentum.com
Speaker:because together Chris
Speaker:We have writing momentum.
Speaker:That's right!
